Reinhardt Suarez crafts a story of travel, mystery, and timelessness. The Green Ray of the Sun weaves a complex elusive world around the dry humored lesbian, Ryland. The novel will make you laugh and at the same time question whether experiences are random or very much designed.



Wes Alexander leads a hybrid album which assists the Novel, the Green Ray of The Sun, as well as borrows folk music from the streets throughout Europe where the main character travels.



Join us! We believe everyone has a story and there are many ways to tell your story. The best way to find your story, is to get lost. And we are experts at it!




Ribtips is the blog we keep at the Chop. Here, you'll be able to take a peek into our interesting little laboratory. We use the blog largely to exchange information with each other and with anyone who's interested in the creative process. Please feel welcome to sit back, enjoy, and comment. Questions! Ask lots of questions! We like those!


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    So far, you’re batting at 1.000 in these Iron Composer Challenges. No matter how ridiculous the ingredients to the song, Wes, you’ve been able to rise to the challenge. Hmm…rising to the challenge, like heroes of legend, and the athletes of today. And who better to embody that fighting spirit than Frank Dux, the champion of the fighting pits and ably played by Jeane Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport!

    Do you have what it takes to possess the spirit of Kumite? I think you do, but you’re going to have to prove it to everyone else…including yourself. And I have just the sport to test your mettle. Behold, the game of mighty planeswalking! Magic: The Gathering!

    Get yourself up to speed on Magic, because you’re going to need that knowledge in this week’s challenge! You are to write a fight song, a training anthem all about an epic game of Magic: The Gathering. And you need to do it in the style of legendary montage masters like Stan Bush. Think Rocky IV music, and you’ve hit it on target:

    Can you make shuffling into a life or death struggle? Tapping out for red mana into an epic climb to the top of a burning mountain? Attacking for lethal damage into a supernova? I think you can.

    Good luck!


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    One of the great unheralded sources of music that I remember is from commercials. And while, yes, that is a very oblique reference to the creative wasteland (or dare I say, utopia) that is Demolition Man, it is also the truth. How many of these little ditties unlock great memories from your youth? I dare say more than one:

    However, there is–infuriatingly so–one theme missing from that medley, one amazing commercial theme that makes me think of my childhood growing up in the 1980s…watching MTV…and eating creamy, dreamy white chocolate:

    I mentioned Demolition Man at the start of this post, and I shall now return back to it. Inside that movie, there is one product that has been so shrouded in mystery that even today, more than a decade after the movie came out, it continued to captivate viewers: the Three Seashells. Thankfully, the mystery of the Three Seashells has been solved (more or less):


    Those motherfucking geniuses at

    Your challenge, Wes, is to create a captivating commercial song sure to sell car insurance to a used car salesman, health insurance to a snake oil salesman, and lasik to a blind man. You are to use the same sweeping, new wave keyboard sounds from the original Nestle commercial, but use them to tell us about and then sell us on the Three Seashells.

    Good luck, have fun, and remember, this is for science.


    Since this is for Science… I’ll call this “3 Seashells, Welcome to the Future”

    Here is an instrumental version. I added an echo filter. Not sure if I like it or not…


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    Damn. You breached the Cetera barrier and went into ludicrous speed. Okay, then. Gloves are off. For this week’s Iron Composer Challenge, I shall mine the video game world for its tasty musical morsels. And no piece of music is more famous than the Guile theme from Street Fighter II.

    This is ten hours of AWESOME.

    According to video game scholars, this piece of music has the curious property of going with everything. And it seems, in this case, to be absolutely correct:

    You get the point. Well, now its your turn to take Guile’s theme and adapt it for a new subject: that of former presidential candidate, Dr. Ben Carson.


    Your challenge is to create a song about the life, journeys, and struggles of the good doctor (here’s his wikipedia page for reference). This song must have lyrics befitting a presidential hopeful and must use melodies and motifs from the Guile theme. As an additional stipulation, the song must be as silky and buttery as Velvet Ben himself. That’s right, this song must also be smooth jazz.

    Good luck!


    This is your fault.

    Don’t think. Just close your eyes and absorb this political sonic massage. Let it caress your temples and penetrate your precincts. Not sure what that means but I’ll probably go to jail after this song. You better post bail.

    Full disclosure – I couldn’t do this without this awesome site.

    I present: Gifted Hands (By the friends of Ben Carson)


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    Another week, another whacko composer challenge. This week, we’ll wade into waters that we’ve swum through before. The following gentleman needs no introduction:


    This is, of course, Mr. Miyagi, of The Karate Kid fame. And as you may be well aware, Wes, we have mined that well before with illustrious songs such as Larusso’s Gonna Fight and Rising to the Top. These are two of our most beloved songs, so I thought why not dig for gold in the gold mine? So for a little character history, movie audiences everywhere first encountered our crotchety karate master while he was working as a handyman in an apartment complex in Newark, New Jersey. Ostensibly, he first encounters Daniel Larusso when the latter party comes to ask him to fix the sink in the apartment Daniel shares with his mother.

    From there, Miyagi takes the painstaking journey of teaching a skinny Italian kid how to kick ass. He does this for two more movies. And then, just when you think Mr. Miyagi has earned his retirement from putting whiny teenagers through their paces, Daniel moves on and Julie Pierce comes on in to start the process all over again.

    Can’t a guy get a break?

    So you, my friend, are tasked with the following task–you are to write a song from Miyagi’s point of view basically stating how sick and tired he is of these motherfucking kids making him teach them motherfucking karate. Wow, you say? That sounds like an easy, if not fun, challenge! This will be a cinch! In our previous songs, we modeled the 1980’s kickass style 0f Survivor! Eye of the Tiger! Moment of Truth! You can’t go wrong!

    Excited? Well, you shouldn’t be. Because writing a song in the style of Survivor is no challenge. Nope. So you’re not writing a song modeled after The Karate Kid.

    You’re going to write a song modeled after The Karate Kid II. Yup. That’s right. You’re going to write a song in the style of Peter Cetera.

    Your challenge is to capture the frustration and exhaustion of one Mr. Miyagi and put it to the tune that would make any woman aged 35-50 pee a little bit in her panties. Mullets galore! Double tracked vocals! Overly-dramatic keyboards! More cheddar than the Mars Cheese Castle! Your challenge awaits.

    Good luck!

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I don’t think this needs any introduction, except you are an asshole.

    And so, I…regrettably present to you…Reinhardt

     May your ears bleed.


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    Okay, Wes. It seems that I’ve been taking it too easy on you. For the second week in a row, you’ve pretty much beat the crap out of my challenges. So I’m going to have to dig down deep, find the cajones, and give you something that will cause real pain. So without further ado, let me present to you Johnny Yune. Who is Johnny Yune, you say? Well, it’s this guy:

    He’s a Korean comedian from the 1980s and one of my favorite unknown icons from my childhood. He’s kind of the Asian Yakov Smirnoff. He is also responsible for possibly my favorite cheap-ass comedy: They Still Call Me Bruce. Now, for decades (and I really mean decades) that movie has contained my favorite comedic dance scene in the history of cinema, which I will show you here:

    Now for your challenge. Right around the 3:28 mark, our intrepid hero, Bruce and Polly enter a nightclub in order to get away from a bunch of thugs. Watch that scene especially, and take note of the song in the background, called “No Small Talk.” Your challenge is to create a sequel to that song which incorporates some of the melody and chord structures in the original. Capture some of that late 80s club music vibe. Have fun!!

    Because this is a sequal challenge and “They Call Me Bruce” has a sequel called, “They STILL Call Me Bruce,” I decided to write a sequel to “No Small Talk” called “No Small Talk Again – This Time It’s Personal.” Enjoy.



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    Jesus. I have my work cut out for me. Challenge 1 was accepted and then sent off into outer space!!!! So now let’s do a change up from a song about one type of hard time to another hard time. Love Actually is one of my guilty pleasure movies. It’s kind of dumb, kind of silly, and all kinds of awesome. There’s a scene at the end of the movie that skirts the line between treacly sweet and headbashingly stupid with a bit of creep-stalker thrown in. And yet, I just can’t get through it without tearing up just a little bit. So here ya go, Wes. Your next challenge, which you have no choice but to accept:

    Iron Composer Challenge 2: Enough Now

    And of course, I must add a tiny wrinkle. No matter what kind of song you end up writing, the only lyrics you are allowed to use are the words written on the cards, reproduced here for your convenience:

    with any luck by next year

    i’ll be going out with one of these girls [The girls being models like Kate Moss, etc.]

    but for now, let me say

    without hope or agenda

    just because it’s Christmas

    (and at Christmas you tell the truth)

    to me, you are perfect

    and my wasted heart will love you

    until you look like this [a mummy]

    Good luck!!!

    This one was super cool. Basically I took the caroling tune he played during the scene (Silent Night), reversed it, and wrote a song with that as the foundation. Thoughts?



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    What’s this? A new post? Why yes, it is. If you’ve somehow stumbled upon this piddly little blog, I’d like to welcome you to a series of posts I’d like to call Iron Composer.


    Now, what is Iron Composer all about? Simply put, it is a musical take of Iron Chef in which I, the member of The Pork Chop Express with questionable musical talent challenges Wes, the member with considerable musical talent, to create a brand new song in a single week based on a topic that I choose. The goal of this isn’t necessarily to create a good song. It’s just to create a song that meets the criteria I set.

    Of course, this is going to be both painful and delicious.

    So here it goes. Challenge 1: Hard Times.

    This is Dusty Rhodes, The American Dream, one of the most beloved professional wrestlers of all time. Your challenge is to write a song that captures the passion that Dusty Rhodes has for the heavyweight championship. As an additional wrinkle, the song must be mid- to fast-tempo.

    Let’s start there and see what happens. Check it out next Monday.

    Challenge accepted… challenge answered…

Hi! If you've found yourself on this page, you're no doubt here to find out all about us. Well, fear not, friends. We are here to provide. Of course, we can't just reveal everything because what would be the fun in that? Still, we do endeavor to guess what vital questions you have in your mind right now using highly sensitive government technology secreted from the 1947 crash of alien spacecraft at Roswell, New Mexico. What? We're not supposed to tell them that? Okay, we'll delete that part later. Good thing we caught that. or else we'd get into real trouble with the Feds. Close call.


    Music, eh? Tunes, beats, jams. We got the music over here. We take a more narrative approach to music in order to explore storytelling through song. Stay tuned to our Soundcloud channel to hear demos, evolution tracks, and even some musical surprises.


    So, you wanna read a book. That’s cool. We got a couple of those. Our books are paired with specific sets of songs tailored to bring out the best in their stories. When you jump into the story, either for free on Wattpad or for a small charge at online bookstores like Amazon, Kobo, iBooks, Scribd, and Barnes & Noble, you get the music to go along with it to complete the experience. Check out our first book/music combo, The Green Ray of the Sun.


    From time to time, we post videos on YouTube to go along with our projects. These might be tracks, behind-the-scenes videos, or updates on current projects. Come on by, subscribe, and stick around.


    The Pork Chop Express got its start as a traveling troupe of misfits, meaning that we’ve covered a pretty wide area of ground. Come check out our Flickr page to see where we’ve been!

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